Transitions and counselling

I have been thinking about transitions a lot lately. I have finished my qualification, but I’m not yet fully employed. Neither training nor fully working. Parents aging, but not yet aged. Children growing, but not yet grown. Many days, I simply let the days pass over me, letting the TV set the timings of the day.

Transitions can be difficult for many reasons. Humans are naturally inclined to fear the unknown, and I often react to fear with passivity (just ask anyone who tries to talk to me about finances). I also adopted a strategy in childhood not to take time to mourn and celebrate transitions, just to move quickly to the next thing.

In fact, this often played out in my early career. I would finish a qualification and immediately rush into the first offer that came my way. I moved to Baltimore after I finished my undergrad degree. I didn’t have any prospects there, but a friend asked if I would. Then, after I finished my master’s degree, I leapt at the first publishing job that came along, hopeful that my ‘dream job’ would appear once I had my foot in the door. I was made redundant after two years, and no other publishing jobs were forthcoming, so I leapt onto the next opportunity that presented itself: digital marketing.

That worked for a long time, in so far as an office/freelance job can ‘work’ for me, but then I started wanting more than just the next available bus. I wanted to start planning a journey and choosing the directions. I wanted to get into the metaphorical driving seat (which coincided with needing to get a real life driving licence, but that’s another topic).

Since I have completed my psychotherapeutic counsellor diploma, I have wanted to be more deliberate about what I do next. Take my time. Choose carefully. Not just jump on the next opportunity like a scared frog leaping from log to log down a rushing river. But the old strategies are strong, and I find myself pushing that urge to wait for the right opportunity down in favour of taking the next one.

Through my own journey with therapy, I have been able to strengthen my determination to change the way I respond to life’s challenges. This period of transition reiterates that although we can change, we have had these old, unhelpful strategies for a long time and for a reason, and they won’t just fade without some determination and actual practice.

I don’t know if I am going to be able to resist the call to take the first option rather than the right one, but I know I have more in my toolkit today than I did when I started therapy four years ago.